i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
