I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
