I wannas sexs uuuuu
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
