I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
