i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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