You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
