If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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