I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
