Yo dont text me then not text me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
