Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
