It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
