If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
