Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
