I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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