I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
