I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
