we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
