I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
