there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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