my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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