I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
