seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize