Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
