ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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