school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
