she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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