you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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