Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
