Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
