Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
