I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
