i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
