wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
