I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
what is it with giant penises always finding me
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize