Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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