evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
