I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
