margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just high enough for therapy.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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