DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
