i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
