Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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