wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
