But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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