After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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