Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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