On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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