Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
