ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
