Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
