you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize