tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
