What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
