is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize