$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
