I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
