I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
high people should be assigned attendants
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
