I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
