I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
