I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
