Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
