So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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