I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
