He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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