i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize