There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
