I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
