Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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