I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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