Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And my parents said I crawled through the house
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
