Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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