And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
