She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so let's talk penis.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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