I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
