just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
