Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
