So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
