If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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