I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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